Wednesday, April 12, 2006
The Healing Process?
It has been an interesting couple of days. First, thank you for all the off blog emails, flowers, cards and well wishes. Any kind of death is somewhat more tolerable with the comfort of friends and family.
My personal loss isn't felt as much as it is as when I am outside. We've had warm weather and sunny skies. My favorite kind of afterschool weather with Fenway. When I go outside, I always stand where he once stood and it physically hurts. I feel him out there. I am sure one day it won't be pain I feel, but comfort. Scott and I will be planting a tree in Fenway's honor this Easter Sunday since we have no plans. My goal is to get a rock or slate engraved and put it beneath this tree, with perhaps a bench I have wanted for some time. Just a spot to talk with him I may get the nerve to put his remains there, but I am not sure about that yet.
A couple of oddities these past few days. We had our Golden Retriever Rescue home visit last night and it went quite well. It felt weird to talk of Fennie in the past tense and felt weird to be discussing getting a new dog. This was a process we had started before he passed, and I feel it is important to finish it now that he is gone. I am hoping sooner than later. The house is so quiet.
A fellow teacher came up to me today and said, "You are needed today, although the timing is pretty rough." It turned out that one of my students was hysterical because her dog of ten years was being sent to the Bridge today. Oh Lord. I was definitely being put to the test and sharing my recent pain to help another get through theirs. I gave her a copy of what I posted below about the proper place to bury a dog. She loved it. After she read it she just let loose all of her emotions and told me the story of her dog. I then shared my story of Fenway. I also let her know that I was with Fenway when he crossed The Bridge, and that it was painless and peaceful and that I am sure her dog went the same way. She was comforted by what I said. I, on the otherhand, am exhausted. It was too soon to share all of that.
I hope I made Fenway's tail wag.
link | posted by Golden Dreams at 4:22 PM
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