Monday, April 17, 2006
Fenway is Home
I felt off all day today. Fenway was heavy on my mind more than normal. The weekend was tough as it was our first without him and the first time where we didn't have to work and have our minds preoccupied. I cried a lot Saturday and a little less on Sunday. But as I said, today I was off.
I came home and began to start downloading the video that had been sitting in my camcorder since February. Video of good times. Video of Fenway going nuts in the snow. The laughter in his eyes and the laughter in my voice. A great memory. As the camcorder was downloading the scenes, the phone rang. My stomach jumped. It was the emergency clinic letting me know that Fenway's ashes had arrived. I told them I would be right over. I live two miles from the clinic so I meant what I said.
Nothing prepares a pet owner to go to pick up their baby's ashes. I was presented with a small cardboard box with his name on it. I lost it. I carried it to the car and immediately called Scott. I couldn't even breath. He thought something happened until I told him what I had in the front seat. He got quiet. Ten years all put into one cardboard box.
When I got home I carefully opened it and inside was a cedar square box. Quite heavy for what it is. It is sealed shut with screws and I have to decide where to place the engraved name plate. Do I put it on the top? Do I put it on the side? Where do I put the fugly silk rose that keeps falling apart? Fenway is probably wagging his tail at that.
As I pulled into the driveway and garage I said, "Bubba, we're home..." It's habit really. Is it normal to talk to a box? I've done it three times. Now it is sitting on the coffee table and I keep staring at it. I don't even know where to put it. Are these normal feelings because I've never had to do this before.
I guess I will just continue to download video into the laptop to put online. It's just a little harder than it was thirty minutes ago.
link | posted by Golden Dreams at 5:29 PM
5 Comments:
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Anonymous had this to say:
I was working at the Four Paws Bakery when your sister came in and told me about Fenway. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Your family will be in our prayers and may the many good memories of Fenway help to carry you through.
Sincerely, Gina
- 4:31 PM
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had this to say:
I had the option to have Madison's remains put in a box and given back to me but I just couldn't do it. I wish I had something to bury now but at the time, making the decision to put her to sleep(we weren't prepared for it at all) was so hard, I just couldn't get myself to do anything more. I wish I had now, I think...I don't know if I would have kept them or if my sister and I would have buried them together.
I am glad you have him back at home, and I am sure whatever you decide to do with his ashes will be the best thing for all of you.
- 4:32 PM
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had this to say:
I am glad you have him back at home, and I am sure whatever you decide to do with his ashes will be the best thing for all of you.
I still have Cocoa, my first baby's ashes on my book shelf in my bedroom. Haven't quite been able to scatter them yet..she died in 2001. I talk to her all the time...I think our new girl, Tessie talks to her too..she sleeps right in front of the book shelf..her choice. Thinking about you...peace girlie.
- 4:32 PM
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Betty had this to say:
(((HUGS)))
- 1:51 PM
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Arielle had this to say:
I talk to Sumners ashes all the time. I say goodnight every night. I could never have buried him someplace because he always wanted to be *with us*, so how could I send his remains someplace else. I had to make the choice to let him stay with us and he has a special place with his picture, angels, and yes the ugly rose, I have one too. I still find it hard to believe that what is left of his 100 lb golden furry body is in that box. I dust around it most of the time because I can't stand the weight of it...when we move, I will have to get used to moving it...I am sure they look at us now from the bridge and wonder what the problem is, it's *just* a box Mom, gheez. LOL
- 9:06 AM
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